I Survived Potty-Training and the Crib Transition...With This One Trick!
This mom hack might change your life.
My favorite products as a mom of two boys (affiliate links):
Arm and Hammer Munchkin Diaper Pail: We have tried so many diaper pails. We had the diaper genies for a long time, but they kept falling apart. We switched to the ubbi, and the smell was unbearable. We finally purchased this diaper pail and I will never go back. It is so easy to use, it is incredibly sturdy, and it holds in the smell perfectly. If you are trying to decide what diaper pail to use, let this be your sign — this is the one to use.
Bentgo Lunch Boxes: I wanted to get lunch boxes with separate compartments for my kids to make packing lunches simpler and cleaner, but getting these lunch boxes had a separate unintended consequence — my son is so excited to eat lunch every day! I highly recommend these.
Toddler Kitchen Stool: We use this legitimately every single day. It is such a gamechanger and toddlers love it! It gives them access to the kitchen, and my son eats many of his meals here. If you want your son to be able to participate as you cook or even just be part of the conversation while you’re prepping food, this is a must-have.
I Survived Potty-Training and the Crib Transition...With This One Trick!
We recently underwent two MAJOR transitions with our toddler — potty-training and the crib-to-bed transition. Would we have ever chosen to do both of those things at once? Absolutely not. Were our hands forced? You betcha.
But we survived, albeit barely. And it’s all down to one trick.
Now, we had tried to potty-train our son a few months ago and it hadn’t gone well. We weren’t as serious about it as we could have been, and my son asked to be back in diapers, so we let him. But after a couple of months, I recognized that he wanted to go in his bedroom and close the door to use the bathroom and that told me he was aware enough of his bodily functions to use underwear.
We began our second round of potty-training with some success, but my son was not quite onboard. I felt that it was still important for him to begin using the toilet as we had been discussing recognizing the feeling of needing to go for a while, and he clearly was familiar with it. To encourage him, we decided to throw him a potty party with his friends and grandparents! We got him a little cake and asked for second-hand wooden trains from our community. He was so excited and super proud of himself. It was all going to plan.
Until about five days later, when we heard my son crying right outside our door at 3:15 AM.
How did he get out of his crib? Was he hurt? Thank God, he was completely fine. He had just decided that 3:15 AM was the best time to display his climbing abilities and climb out of his crib.
Despite the fact that he insisted he wanted to continue to sleep in his crib, my son kept climbing out. We emergency-ordered a toddler bed and the next day I had set it up in his room. And he HATED it.
All of a sudden, his sleep was completely disrupted, as was his potty-training. He went an entire day of not using the toilet once and he was up all night. We were exhausted and stressed. And that’s when I realized something.
Toddlers constantly feel out of control. They are told what to do, what not to do, where to go, and how to get there. The only two things they can really control are using the bathroom and sleeping. And all of a sudden, we had taken those two things away from him in the course of a week. And he was pushing back. We were going to tell him he had to use the potty? Now he was going to pee on the floor. We were going to put him in a bed instead of his crib? Now he was going to cry all night and run around his room.
I needed to give him some control again. So I began bombarding him with “this or that?” questions. A or B? I only gave him questions where either option would be fine. If he needed to go to the bathroom before we left the house, I didn’t ask, “Do you want to go to the bathroom or not?” I would ask, “Do you want mommy to go to the bathroom first or do you want to go to the bathroom first?” I asked him what he wanted to eat, what he wanted to drink, what he wanted to listen to, how many blankets he wanted, how many kisses he wanted, did he want to read one book or two books before bed, did he want me to sit with him for one minute or two minutes…you get the idea.
Within one day, my son was back on the potty. The next day he didn’t have a single accident. His sleeping was still somewhat disrupted, but then I began stroking his hair and singing to him for about five minutes before leaving the room, and he began to do much better.
He just needed to be in control again, and I could offer him at least a semblance of that. Have things been perfect since instituting this new strategy? Of course not. But they are so improved that we have decided to keep asking him these questions generally. I want my toddler to know I care about his opinion. If it’s outside of the bounds of what we can allow, okay, the answer is no. But if we can give him options that are both legitimately fine, he feels good and he feels heard. And that’s a win-win in my book.
Would you ever try something like this? What techniques do you use to help your toddlers through difficult transitions? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
"This or that" is so important for children in general! I was honestly a little surprised that you weren't already using it, since you seem like such an intentional and hands on mom! My son isn't quite old enough to fully understand yet, but we still give him options all the time, even if he doesn't really understand what he's choosing, we want him to be able to decide just a little tiny bit for himself.
We also let our son choose between two options. When it comes to potty training, he gets to choose between going outside or using his potty. We also let him do certain things on his own. For example, he grabs his socks after getting dressed or buckles himself when we sit down for meals. It takes a little longer but he is so proud of himself!!